When it came to selecting Scotland’s Christmas Home of the Year 2024, judge Anna was looking for something cosy and convivial but still kind to the planet. Banjo desired lots of love in every corner, while Danny the architect was secretly hoping for a bifurcated staircase.
Me? I’ll be quite happy if our guest this Christmas, a pup that’s a cross between a Cocker Spaniel and Godzilla, would stop stealing the baubles from the tree and demanding chicken in return.
There are no naughty dogs in Scotland’s Christmas Home of the Year, the imaginatively titled festive edition of Scotland’s Home of the Year.
For 2024’s festive smackdown, designers Anna Campbell-Jones, Australia-born now Mull resident Banjo Beale, and Danny Campbell visited Alloa, Cumbernauld, Dalkeith, Fraserburgh and Lesmahagow in search of the perfect Christmas grotto with definitely no grotty bits.
”Merry Christmas ya filthy animals!” cried Banjo by way of a toast to mark their departure. Must be a Mull thing.
Anna had come dressed for the occasion, though which one I’m not sure. With her polka dot blouse and tartan trews there was no chance of losing her in a crowded room. Banjo went for a red and white stripey jumper while Danny was in regulation architect black. Did he mention he was an architect?
First stop was Mistletoe House in Cumbernauld, home to Gillian and Philip and their two teenage sons, Mitchell, 19, and Mackenzie, 16. There were trees throughout the house and every surface was adorned with something sparkly.
“Very professional,” said Anna, while Banjo worried how Santa was going to get out of the glass-fronted fire (don’t worry kids, he always carries a full set of tools to deal with any such eventualities).
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Next was Candy Lane Lodge in Fraserburgh (I’m assuming the festive house names had been slapped on for the occasion; pretty fortuitous if not). This was where Matthew, partner Stephen, and pugs Isaac and Henry hung their hats, and jolly nice it was too, with bits and bogs from all over the world. The attention to detail was off the charts. Even the legs on the piano were wearing special Santa socks.
From Fraserburgh it was on to Holly Bank House, Dalkeith, Santa’s Snug in Alloa, and finally the Festive Farmhouse in Lesmahagow. Each was fantastic in its own way, leaving the viewer wondering how the judges could ever pick a winner.
As the hour went on – double the usual run time – it became increasingly apparent that one thing above all mattered to the judges – the snacks on offer. None of yer scabby carrots and shop-bought mince pies here, thank you very much. It was personalised gingerbread and candy canes galore. The ideal snack, said Banjo, giving 2025 contestants a heads-up, would be Champagne, cocktails and a charcuterie board. Mais bien sur; what does he think we Scots are, monsters?
A winner had to be chosen and the festive farmhouse in Lesmahagow was it. Owners Angela and Mark were well chuffed, and rightly so. In all the homes the attention to detail was astonishing, the care taken obvious. This was love draped in tinsel and baubles, topped off with a star.
It almost made me want to tear down my pathetic, bauble-free tree and start again. But then I saw the pup had got there first, toppling the thing without so much as a by-your-leave or a yelp of “Timber!”. And there it will stay till twelfth night, or July.
Maybe next year Anna, Banjo and Danny, maybe next year.