By David Lynch
Why is it that in December all we hear about is the promise of Christmas and a thousand reasons to be cheerful, and then on the turn of one day, we’re left with a gaping emptiness?
Then hot on its heels, a return to a chilly workplace and the prospect of a long month before the next pay cheque. And that’s just the lucky ones amongst us, surrounded by family and friends and job to return to.
David Lynch. Picture: Keith Heppell
Christmas can feel like a commercial extravaganza with scant regard to its spiritual origin of goodwill, generosity and gratitude.
No wonder many of us are left feeling depressed, despairing and discombobulated, as we wake up to a new year and an expectation to cheerily commit to a harsh regime of dieting, gym and positive thinking.
Worry not, as I bring glad tidings, in the form of mindful top tips to help you open your mind to all the potential joys coming your way, and to protect your heart from the inevitable blows also coming your way.
I call myself the ‘green mindful coach’ and I teach mindful self-care, which is a survival skill that lurks deep in our unconscious waiting to be nurtured and grown into a daily mindfulness practice.
In other words, we are born mindful. Or you could say we are innately aware, receptive and observant. Some of us more than others.
Being human means being conscious of what is going on around us. Our unique intelligence allows us to observe our thoughts, words and deeds, and develop a sense of who we are and who we want to become.
Now, I am no scientist, nor am I a mindfulness professor. I am Mr Average who had the good fortune to have a GP who advised me to make radical lifestyle changes in my forties to avoid a further deterioration in my mental health.
Lucky for me that a local Buddhist centre offered yoga and meditation classes and after a few years of practice, invited me to study Buddhist philosophy and practise as a trainee minister in Cambridge.
After three years intense practice in a local Buddhist community, I chose to return to the world of work, train in secular mindfulness teaching, and reinvented myself as the mindful green coach, combining personal epiphany with a professional background as counsellor, trainer and operations manager.
So, here I am, sharing some of this hard-won wisdom, while all the while subject to the same human challenges as us all, especially when the days are short and dark, when the bank is empty, and when the demands of a new year feel unbearable.
I bring you glad tidings. You can gently and with patience, erode that despair and panic, by changing your relationship to the challenge in hand.
It takes daily practice, a commitment to facing painful truths, a good teacher or coach, and if you’re lucky the love of family and solid friends.
But let’s start with the basics before I point you in the direction of further support. I invite you to a practice-a-day to gently ease into 2025.
Day 1: On waking, choose to delay your getting out of bed routine to reflect on your good fortune to be alive. It can take just 30 seconds to bring to mind your greatest gifts. And I don’t mean your favourite pressies here. I’m talking a warm comfy bed, a roof over your head, food in the fridge, relative good health (you’re breathing!), a source of income including state benefits and if you’re very lucky, someone to love and be loved by (including pets, distant family members and neighbours). When you’ve listed five, take another 10 seconds to reflect on how those gifts feels, then get on with your day.
Day 2: Meditation doesn’t have to be on a cushion or even sitting down with eyes closed. If you struggle to sit still with your thoughts, then try the kettle meditation. Start by setting the intention to spend the next 10 minutes solely dedicated to making a hot drink, then doing nothing other than staring out of a window or at a beautiful picture in between taking sips. No scrolling. No talking. Just being still in silence. Stand by the kettle and focus on the building noise of boiling water. Then wait and notice what you are experiencing, repeating the mantra, “I am slowing down to help myself relax”. When the meditation is done, note how you are feeling and if it has helped, commit to repeating again soon.
Day 3: Do you wake with familiar aches and pains? The body keeps the score of overworking and under-exercising, and is reminding you to pay it some nurturing attention. Start the day with mindful stretches as soon as you get up. The aim is to release the tension accumulated overnight and experience a sense of gentle relief. Just five minutes can help improve mood and prepare us for the challenges ahead.
Day 4: Combine exercise with mindful meditation and take a mindful walk in a favourite open space, eg Wandlebury Country Park. This is a chance to connect with your inner world and notice nature’s calm beauty. A solitary moment without dog or phone to refresh your mind, knowing no-one will be calling on you. True downtime for yourself.
Day 5: Ring-fence a manageable period of time to live without access to a mobile phone. Set the intention of not checking messages or reading social media. Identify an alternative activity that will occupy the mind and distract you from your phone detox, eg reading a book, walking the dog. If you succeed, then reward yourself with something other than phone.
Day 6: By now you will be getting the hang of spending snippets of your day with fewer distractions and ready to up the challenge; the art of daydreaming. Choose a space where you feel comfortable and relaxed. Maybe build a temporary nest with a warm blanket, clear surfaces and light a candle. Now, practise staring at nothing in particular, eg a wall painting, the garden through a window. Commit to staying still for five minutes, and notice where the practice takes you. Extend to 10 minutes when ready.
Day 7: Now is the time to pat yourself on the back for exercising mindful self-care and hopefully feeling the benefits of what a little and often can bring to our mood and outlook. Start by listing what you have completed in the last seven days in a designated mindfulness journal. If you have time, describe what you have noticed when you take the time to be alongside your own thoughts, and dared to take better care of your mental health. Conclude with a commitment to continue to exercise mindful self-care by ring-fencing 10 minutes a day and maintaining this journal to help you build self-awareness around the part you play in your future health.
David leads monthly mindful meanders in Wandlebury Country Park. To book a place, email naturallymindfulnow@gmail.com.
He teaches a mindfulness for life course at Coleridge Community College on Wednesdays, at 6-8pm.
To book a place, email office@adultlearning.education, or call 01223 712340. David also runs mindful self-care workshops in the workplace to help employers take better care of their people.